GIVE "IT" TO GOD...

" LIGHTEN" Her Load...

My Daughter and I,
Spent Some...
"Girl Time"
 Together Yesterday.

She's " Moving Out"...

F
I
N
A
L
L
Y

Convinced...
( I'm WELL!)

So...

Instead Of SHOPPING for Clothes,
We were out buying "STUFF",
For Her Apartment.

After we were DONE...
She, " THANKED ME",
(Many Times!)
For ALL The "STUFF",
I Bought Her.
(My PARENTS And I Raised Her Right!)

And...

I TRIED To EXPLAIN...
I Could NEVER Give Her Back...

ALL The LOVE,
ALL The TEARS,
ALL The DEVOTION...

She BLESSED Me With,
During My Breast Cancer Journey!

The MANY Nights...
She COULDN'T Sleep.
WALKED The Floors...

WONDERING...

IF I Would SURVIVE It.

CHECKING...

TO
SEE
IF
I
WAS
STILL

BREATHING...
(When She THOUGHT I was SLEEPING!)

IT
LITERALLY
BROKE
MY
HEART...

TO KNOW...

When She SHOULD Of Been " PARTYING"

Like Most GIRLS...In Their " Twenties"...

She was at HOME,
With ME,

UNCERTAIN...

Of The OUTCOME!

SO...

BUYING Her " STUFF"...

Is Just MY WAY,

TO...

" LIGHTEN"...Her LOAD...

As She DID MINE...

DURING My Breast Cancer Journey!

What A BLESSING...

GOD
CHOSE
ME...

To RAISE Such A DEVOTED Daughter!

Until Next Time...

" Behold, CHILDREN Are A HERITAGE From The LORD. The FRUIT Of The Womb IS His REWARD."

Psalms 127:3

LOU...

" I WANT to BE, HAPPY and FREE. LIVING and LOVING for ME. I WANT to BE, HAPPY and FREE...LIVING in ummph, ummph (work with me people!), LOVING for ME...Just like a NATURAL WO(MAN!) "...
Lou Rawls, " Natural Man "

WHILE...

Driving Last Weekend,
Listening to V103.
Herb Kent, " The COOL GENT",
Has the BATTLE Of The BEST...
EVERY SUNDAY!

It was LOU RAWLS versus SAM COOKE!

The MOMENT I Heard Him...

PLAY

Mr. LOU RAWLS...

I
CLOSED
MY
EYES...

AND,

REMEMBERED...

My " MOMMA"! "

My MOM...

LOVED
HER
SOME

LOU!

In ALL My CHILDHOOD MEMORIES...

OF
HER...

MUSIC " FRAMED" THEM!

SHE, "SAAAANG"...

While She CLEANED Our Home...
( And. YES She COULD...Sing!)

LISTENING TO...ARETHA,
( No Last NAME Needed!)

Nancy Wilson...Sarah Vaughn...
Just to MENTION A FEW!

ANNIVERSARY PARTIES...

The COMMODORES, " Brick House! "

" BLASTING "...Throughout...EVERY...ROOM!

SO
MUSIC
FOR
ME...

BECAME THIS...

Organic...NATURAL...Experience!

Generational...

Because My DAUGHTER Has " DUSTIES ",

On HER IPOD!

There
Is
NOTHING...

MORE...

" SOUL - STIRRING"
" HEARTWARMING"
" MOUNTAIN...MOVING!
" EARTH SHAKING! "

" HEAVENLY "...

Whew!
( I think you get it!)

TO...ME!

THEN...

HEARING
A
SONG...

That TAKES Me...

BACK

To A CHILDHOOD...

My MOTHER, "fought" HARD...

TO...GIVE...US!

EXPERIENCES...

In The 70's...

That NO Poor BLACK Family Of 5 CHILDREN...

SHOULD
OF
BEEN
GIVEN!

To BORROW A Line...
From, My Sisters POEM ABOUT Our CHILDHOOD,
" NOBODY TOLD US WE WERE...POOR! "
( And, IF They HAD...Would LIFE Have Been ANY Different? ")
( Thanks, Nan!)

Concerts, Sox Games, Chicago Fest, Dining DOWNTOWN...

That MY PARENTS...

MADE POSSIBLE!

SO,

Last SUNDAY...

AS
I
WAS
DRIVING...

When I HEARD...

LOU!

On The RADIO...

I
HAD
TO...

PULL OVER!

I
CLOSED
MY
EYES...

( Just for a MOMENT!)

AND

SMILED!

BECAUSE...

IT
MADE
ME

REMEMBER...

" MOMMA "...

The ORIGINAL Natural WOMAN...

Until Next Time...

" For YOUR VOICE Is SWEET, And YOUR Countenance Is LOVELY "
Song Of Solomon 2: 14

" I CAN'T SIT DOWN! "

SINCE

GOD HAS...

PREDETERMINED
The
EVENTS Of LIFE.

It stands to REASON...

There
Are
Many,

Season's

 IN
 OUR
 LIVES.

Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3,

" To EVERYTHING there IS a SEASON"...

When I received My Breast Cancer Diagnosis,
The PAIN from OUR Mothers Death...
Was STILL Present.

" A time to be born, And a time to die."

After...

OUR Mother,
OUR Father,

Was FACING, A "life-threatening" Illness.

" A time to break down. A time to build up."
( He SURVIVED!)

My FATHER...Was there, on the DAY I was DIAGNOSED.

He TURNED to MY SISTERS...

" And a time to speak."

And said...

" Why CAN'T we just get a LITTLE Sick in THIS FAMILY? "

" A time to weep. And, a time to laugh (eventually!)"

OUR FAMILIES...

Season...

To REALLY lean on GOD!

NOW...

I'M HEALED!

" And a time to dance! "

I've Been HOLDING My BREATH...

Through MY REMISSION.

So MANY Friends LOST,
So MANY Friends FIGHTING the BATTLE Again!

" A time to embrace."

While SITTING at My Table...
( STILL... HOLDING MY BREATH!).

SOMETHING,

My DAUGHTER said to Me...
( On New Years Eve).

Came To Mind.

" Mom, THIS IS OUR SEASON"...
" This Is OUR YEAR!"
( Out of the MOUTHS of BABES...!)

I BEGAN...

To HEAR a VOICE,

very low...THEN, LOUD!

SO,
I
JUMPED
UP!

Because

I COULD NO LONGER SIT DOWN!
HOLD MY BREATH!

God,

HAS BEEN TOO GOOOOOD...

To ME,
My FAMILY.

He TURNED Our SEASON...

Of WAR...

" To...A time of peace."

SO...

I CAN'T SIT DOWN!

HOLD MY BREATH...

ANYMORE!

" And a time to dance!"

" This is MY SEASON...For GRACE...FOR FAVOR..."
( Isn't that how the song goes?)

Until Next Time...

" For EVERYTHING there IS a SEASON.
 A TIME For EVERY Purpose UNDER Heaven."
Ecclesiastes 3:1

.

That ELUSIVE Place...

We Will ALL Reach A Point...
( Well, MOST Of US At LEAST!)
A PLACE,
A State Of BEING.

Let's AGREE to TENTATIVELY...

Call This

" ELUSIVE" Entity...

SATISFACTION!
( There I said it!)

I HESITATED...
To USE This Word.

Because...

We're TAUGHT,

More...MORE...MORE!

Does IT Mean,
You HAVE Everything?
Quite the CONTRARY!

Does IT Mean,
You NO Longer DESIRE to...

IMPROVE Yourself,
OR Your CIRCUMSTANCES?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Well...
I'm Sure you're WONDERING...

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

The ANSWERS to that,
DEPEND on the INDIVIDUAL!

FOR ME...

It's a SENSE Of SELF.

Self ACTUALIZATION...Really.

I KNOW...

WHO I AM,
AND...
WHOSE I AM!
( My Breast Cancer Journey TAUGHT Me That!)

Have I Figured Out...

The RIDDLE Of The SPHINX?
The MYSTERIES Of LIFE?

NO!

But,

I

HAVE

CONQUERED...

That " ANGST"  We've ALL Experienced,
Trying to FIGURE Out...

WHO WE ARE...

Since PUBERTY!
(Well, that's MY STORY!)

I'M STILL,

LEARNING Something " NEW"...

Everyday!

I'M STILL.

OPEN To ALL The BLESSINGS, GIFTS...

Life...Has To OFFER!

THANKFULLY Though...

I Have REACHED That PLACE...

That " ELUSIVE" Entity.

The Apostle Paul,

Discusses in Philippians 4 :11,

" NOT That I Speak in REGARD To NEED, For I Have LEARNED IN WHATEVER
 State I AM,To Be CONTENT!"

YES,

I ...WILL...GO...OUT...

ON
A
LIMB...

And,

SAY IT...

I AM ,

CONTENT!

Until Next Time...

" And HAVING Food AND Clothing, With These We SHALL Be CONTENT."
1 TIMOTHY 6: 8

Only PART Of My Narrative...

I AM...A Woman.
If ETHNICITY is of Importance to YOU,
I AM...A Black Woman.
( Now can we PROCEED?)

I AM...A Mother.
I AM...A Sister.
I AM...A Friend.

A
N
D,

I AM...A Daughter.

Another PART of MY Narrative,

I AM...A Breast Cancer Survivor!

I AM...Imperfect.
I've MADE

S
O

MANY

MISTAKES...

Along THIS Journey...

We call...

L
I
F
E.

I AM...Working DILIGENTLY...

On BECOMING a BETTER Me!

I AM...Listening,
INSTEAD
Of SPEAKING,
First!

I AM...Giving MY Opinion.
THOUGHTFULLY...
ONLY...When ASKED!

I AM...Striving,
To BE More FORGIVING!
I AM...Striving,
To BE More COMPASSIONATE!

And...YES,

Part Of MY Narrative,

I AM...A Breast Cancer Survivor!

ALMOST...5 YEARS Now.

I AM...LOVING.
My MOM used to SAY,
"YOU have a GOOD Heart!"
That's at TIMES...HARD for ME to ACCEPT...
Because I'M STILL...

A
WORK
IN
PROGRESS!

And, My HEART....

W
E
L
L...

IF...I AM...BEING,

HONEST!

ISN'T
ALWAYS
SO
GOOD!

I AM...

S
T
I
L
L

A MOTHER.
A SISTER,
A FRIEND,
A DAUGHTER.
( Thanks to the ALMIGHTY...For MY HEALING!)

AND...

When I TELL You...

That...

I AM...

A
BREAST
CANCER
SURVIVOR...

DON'T
FEEL
SORRY
FOR
ME!

Just...

REMEMBER...

IT'S ONLY

PART

OF

MY

NARRATIVE!

Until Next Time...

" I WILL Praise THEE; For I AM Fearfully AND Wonderfully MADE: Marvelous ARE Thy WORKS;
And THAT My SOUL Knoweth WELL!" Psalms 139:14
.

Growing PAINS...

As you MATURE,

You BEGIN to ACCEPT,

That which CHALLENGES You

Becomes a FORCE... 

FOR

G

R

O

W

T

H!

ADVERSITY...

" Tapped" Me on the Shoulder,

...November 19, 2009...

And, Said...GIRL....

" It's...TIME "

TO
"SHAKE"
THINGS
UP!

" You NEED TO..."

S
T
R
E
T
C
H

Those BOUNDARIES Of YOURS!

Be A WITNESS
Be A " Living" TESTIMONY!
( Now this began to sound like something I wasn't READY For!)

So, I RESPONDED to ADVERSITY...

Quite CLEARLY!

Stood TOE to TOE,

With Her.

And, Said, " I'm Doing JUST FINE!"

She just LAUGHED...

And, Said, " You WILL BE"

After I'M DONE!

Now AFTER going 6 ROUNDS with HER.

(CHEMO!)

She had the NERVE to INSIST on 38 MORE Rounds.

(RADIATION!)

Now, Just when I Thought

SHE

WAS

WINNING...

Had ME Against The Ropes,

She Said, " YOU'RE READY!'

NOW...GO!

Living THROUGH Breast Cancer,

OPENED...MY...EYES.

To GOD'S...

UNYIELDING,

UNWAVERING,

UNENDING...

LOVE...FOR...ME!

Now that's GROWTH!

Until Next Time...

" But GROW in the GRACE and KNOWLEDGE of OUR Lord and SAVIOR Jesus Christ.To him be the

GLORY both NOW and FOREVER." 2 Peter 3:18

THINGS I KNOW...FOR SURE!

As long as you LIVE,
You WILL encounter ADVERSITY.
There are THOSE who will LOVE you,
For WHO you ARE.
And there are THOSE who will HATE you,
For the SAME.

As long as you LIVE,
FAIR...EQUAL...TREATMENT,
Isn't REALLY an OPTION.
We're RAISED to TELL our CHILDREN...
Such.
But, as they LIVE...
And, LEARN.
The WORLD teaches THEM,
A HARSH Reality.
Quite SIMPLY Put,
That's NOT how it ALL Works.

Really " HORRIBLE" PEOPLE...

P
R
O
S
P
E
R!

While the GOOD...

S
U
F
F
E
R

Needlessly!

As Long as you LIVE,
There will be LOVE and LOST.
No matter how SWEET...
Or TUMULTUOUS.
The LOVE...
LOST
The END of that LOVE,
EFFECTS you the SAME.
You will MOURN...
You will

G
R
I
E
V
E

But, LIFE will CONTINUE On.

As LONG as you LIVE,
Just as that "old" song says...
" Didn't you KNOW you have to CRY Sometime?"
But...
Those TEARS if WELL Spent,
Will TEACH you...
ENABLE You...
To LOVE that PERSON you've BECOME.
( Pain IS Cathartic!)

As LONG as you LIVE,
KNOW
That with GOD as your Compass...
The LORD as your GUIDE.

YOU WILL OVERCOME!

Breast Cancer...ANY Illness...
a
n
y
Mountain...

IN YOUR PATH!

As LONG as you LIVE...
REMEMBER!
No matter HOW DARK,
How DIRE the SITUATION.

IF YOU REMAIN FAITHFUL...

OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL!

HE WILL
B
R
I
N
G
YOU THROUGH!

These are a FEW THINGS...
I KNOW...FOR SURE!

Until Next Time...

" Let US hold FAST the CONFESSION Of OUR Hope without WAVERING,
For HE who PROMISES Is FAITHFUL."
Hebrews 10 :23

JUST AVERAGE...

We ALL rest in our Mothers womb,
For nine months.
(Give or take!)
We ALL come into the WORLD...
With a "pat" on our behind.

OUR RESPONSE...

We SCREAM like OUR Life,
Depends on it.

And, FIFTY plus years LATER...

I'M
STILL
SCREAMING!

I've ALWAYS felt,

JUST AVERAGE...
(Well, maybe "slightly" above!)

I'm sure that's how MOST people feel.

You DO what's EXPECTED of you.

SCHOOL...WORK...MARRIAGE & KIDS.
(Although not NECESSARILY in that ORDER!)

You're TAUGHT to DO what's RIGHT.

You OBEY the LAW.
You PAY Taxes.
You TRY to Live...
Like a DECENT Human Being.

And, WHERE you ASK does that LAND you?

FOR ME...

On a STREET...
In a LAND...

Called...

BREAST CANCER!

Am I Complaining?
Am I Bitter?

QUITE the OPPOSITE!

WHY NOT...YOU SAY?

Because CONQUERING that DISEASE,
WINNING...
OVER BREAST CANCER.

Made me REALIZE...

I'M...NOT...JUST...AVERAGE!

MANY
LOST
THAT
BATTLE.

ME...

Thanks to the ALMIGHTY!

I'M
THRIVING!

After it's ALL said and DONE...

I'M...FINALLY...ALIVE!

I EAT RIGHT,
I EXERCISE.

And, I FEEL so MUCH GRATITUDE...

For EVERY Sunrise...
For EVERY Sunset!

My LIFE...

IS
NOT
WITHOUT
CHALLENGES!

BUT...

BRING...IT...ON!

WHY?

Because I'm NOT...

JUST
AVERAGE,

ANYMORE!

Until Next Time...

" The LORD is MY Light and MY Salvation; Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the STRENGTH of MY LIFE; Of Whom shall I be afraid."
Psalms 27: 1-2

Just A Thought...

CLOSE...YOUR...EYES
(Indulge Me!)
Just...For...A...Minute.

Are you REALLY...HAPPY?

Not the Pharrell Williams Version!

IS
YOUR
LIFE

Satisfying?

Are YOU...

Is THIS...

JOURNEY

Through ADULTHOOD...

ALL
YOU
EXPECTED?

ANTICIPATED...

IT
WOULD
BE?

Those are the VERY Questions,
I've ASKED Myself...

Since Being Diagnosed,
WITH
Breast Cancer.

Has it been...ENOUGH?

I Don't KNOW about YOU.

BUT,

UNTIL

I...WAS...DIAGNOSED,

WITH

Breast Cancer.

Face TO Face,

With MY Mortality.

EVERYDAY

Was just a SERIES,
OF
Work...Play...Work, and MORE Work!

I was traveling at "Warp" Speed.

THEN,

I Found a LUMP...
Saw a DOCTOR...

AND,

EVERYTHING...Just...STOPPED!

I'm CLOSING in on,
5 years,
CANCER FREE!
November 19th,
That's the DATE!

And,

After ALL I've ENDURED...

Surgery,
Chemotherapy,
Radiation,
And, MORE Surgery!

My LIFE Is AGAIN

Work...Play, and MORE WORK!

Which makes Me WONDER...

What was THIS JOURNEY,

MY
JOURNEY...

ALL ABOUT?

WHAT
HAS
CHANGED?

Outwardly...NOTHING.

But, INWARDLY...

I...HAVE...SO...MANY QUESTIONS!

I'M Searching For SO MANY Answers!

I...WANT...MY...LIFE

My STRUGGLE TO...SURVIVE

To mean MORE then...

Work...Play, and MORE WORK!

I've had SO MANY Conversations,

WITH
GOD.

PRAY...With ME.
That HE...Leads ME,
ALONG My WAY...

TO UNDERSTANDING.

Just A Thought...

Until Next Time...

"To HIM the DOORKEEPER opens, and the SHEEP hear HIS Voice;
and HE CALLS His OWN Sheep by NAME and LEADS them OUT."
John 10:3

TRUSTING...

" We've come this FAR by FAITH..."
(That song has been playing OVER, and OVER in my mind today!)

There comes a TIME in EVERYONE'S Life...

WHEN
ALL
YOU
HAVE

Is GOD!

We ALL arrive at that DESTINATION...

For VARIOUS Reasons.

Financial Hardship,
LOSS,
Grief,
And, for ME...
ILLNESS...Breast Cancer.

" LEANING on the LORD"...

During THOSE Times...

Degrees...Accolades...MONEY...

ALL...
YOUR
ACCOMPLISHMENTS...
Are
MEANINGLESS!

The ONLY way you can get THROUGH it,
The ONLY way you can WAKE up...

And,

FACE
EACH
NEW
DAY

Is...

GOD!

" TRUSTING in HIS Holy WORD"...

YES...

I can SAY without RESERVATION...

" He's NEVER...FAILED me yet!"

So, I'm ASKING...

FATHER,

My BEST FRIEND...

IS
FIGHTING

CANCER...AGAIN!

My LIFE...

My HEART...

AT
THIS
VERY
MOMENT

Could USE,

Your LOVING Hand...

Upon It!

" Oh, Oh, Oh...Can't TURN AROUND"

I KNOW...
YOU
CAN!

" We...I'VE come THIS Far By FAITH!"

Until Next Time...

" But, HE who TRUSTS in the LORD, MERCY Shall SURROUND Him"
Psalms 32:10