"I Get So Emotional Baby"...Whitney Houston
Help Me!
Lately...
I "cry" watching TV,
I "cry" during the News.
I even "cried" because I've been crying...
Menopause? NO!
Depressed? NO!
The "Floodgates" have just OPENED...
(And, I don't know...WHY!)
So, quite naturally...
It made me wonder...
Could it be that I turn 52 next month?
The whole "older"..."wiser"...More in touch...
Or...
Could it be because of my Journey with...
Through...Breast Cancer?
(I am GRATEFUL...For the things that HE has done!)
Or...
Is it from just, "Letting Go"...
Did I tell you?
I made decision... A LITTLE WHILE AGO...
If it DOESN'T "enhance" My Life...
LET IT GO!
If I've tried...And, Tried...AND, TRIED...
Yet, EVERYTIME...I end up...At the SAME place.
LET IT GO!
If ANGER...HURT...UNFORGIVENESS...Abounds...
LET IT GO!
(Love IS the Answer...To EVERYTHING!)
Try This...
"You made me mad!"...Love You!
"You DID...Such and Such!"...Love You!
"I'll NEVER forgive you!"...Love You!
And, if that DOESN'T work...
LET IT GO!
Life is fleeting!
You know what?
I guess my "tears" are a reminder.
THAT I'M STILL HERE!
I'M STILL STANDING!
After ALL Ive been through...
Until Next Time...
"Didn't You Know You Have To Cry Sometime?"...Smokey Robinson
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
About THIS Life...
No one KNOWS...
What LIFE has in store for them.
That's what's GREAT...
And, NOT so Great...
About this Life!
Since Treatment...
When I wake...
My BODY often says, "NO!"
But, my SPIRIT...
SCREAMS..."YES"...
We CAN do this!
Everyday...
You anticipate the Challenges...
While all along PRAYING...
It will go smoothly...
No SURPRISES...Right?
If someone would have told me...
While I was "running" all over Hyde Park,
During my adolescence...
Barefoot...Afro Puffs...
That I would be diagnosed with...
Breast Cancer?
Well...
Let me tell you a story.
During my Sophmore year in High School,
I had the "smallest" breasts in Gym Class.
Can you imagine walking into the Locker Room,
Sporting a "Love Is"...
One step up from a Training bra...Bra?
You can imagine the teasing...Relentless!
But, my come back line...
"At this size...Mine will "always" be perky!"
(That's what I said to MYSELF!)
It was High School...STILL hadn't found my "voice!"
Both my Sisters...Double D's...
I have ALWAYS been "surrounded" by breasts...
LARGER than mine!
More "accurately"...ECLIPSED Mine!
I...Who have "nothing" to spare...
Breast Cancer?
You've got to be kidding!
(There's that LIFE...Great...Not so Great again!)
So, it "took" what little I had to offer!
It's been almost 3 years...
Have I moved PAST it?
I ASK myself that...OFTEN!
My Answer:
Not exactly...
But, I've LEARNED,
To "navigate" around it...
Quite CLEVERLY...I must say!
You just don't REALIZE...Going in,
(Just like a BAD Relationship)
There will always be some SCARS.
Is my Life filled with a GREATER uncertainty,
Since being diagnosed with Breast Cancer?
Maybe...
Will there ALWAYS be Doctors Visits...
Quarterly "Cancer" Screenings...
That "nagging" feeling this pain...
That "what" is that on my body?
I didn't NOTICE it yesterday...
Could be Can---?
Of Course!
But...
Because of who HE is...
Because of the HEALING...
That CONTINUES to take place...
In both BODY...And, SPIRIT.
Yes...
(Deep Breath!)
I WILL CONTINUE TO TRUST YOU LORD!
"Oh, Lord my God, I CRIED out to You,
And, You HEALED me"...Psalms 30:2
Until Next Time...
What LIFE has in store for them.
That's what's GREAT...
And, NOT so Great...
About this Life!
Since Treatment...
When I wake...
My BODY often says, "NO!"
But, my SPIRIT...
SCREAMS..."YES"...
We CAN do this!
Everyday...
You anticipate the Challenges...
While all along PRAYING...
It will go smoothly...
No SURPRISES...Right?
If someone would have told me...
While I was "running" all over Hyde Park,
During my adolescence...
Barefoot...Afro Puffs...
That I would be diagnosed with...
Breast Cancer?
Well...
Let me tell you a story.
During my Sophmore year in High School,
I had the "smallest" breasts in Gym Class.
Can you imagine walking into the Locker Room,
Sporting a "Love Is"...
One step up from a Training bra...Bra?
You can imagine the teasing...Relentless!
But, my come back line...
"At this size...Mine will "always" be perky!"
(That's what I said to MYSELF!)
It was High School...STILL hadn't found my "voice!"
Both my Sisters...Double D's...
I have ALWAYS been "surrounded" by breasts...
LARGER than mine!
More "accurately"...ECLIPSED Mine!
I...Who have "nothing" to spare...
Breast Cancer?
You've got to be kidding!
(There's that LIFE...Great...Not so Great again!)
So, it "took" what little I had to offer!
It's been almost 3 years...
Have I moved PAST it?
I ASK myself that...OFTEN!
My Answer:
Not exactly...
But, I've LEARNED,
To "navigate" around it...
Quite CLEVERLY...I must say!
You just don't REALIZE...Going in,
(Just like a BAD Relationship)
There will always be some SCARS.
Is my Life filled with a GREATER uncertainty,
Since being diagnosed with Breast Cancer?
Maybe...
Will there ALWAYS be Doctors Visits...
Quarterly "Cancer" Screenings...
That "nagging" feeling this pain...
That "what" is that on my body?
I didn't NOTICE it yesterday...
Could be Can---?
Of Course!
But...
Because of who HE is...
Because of the HEALING...
That CONTINUES to take place...
In both BODY...And, SPIRIT.
Yes...
(Deep Breath!)
I WILL CONTINUE TO TRUST YOU LORD!
"Oh, Lord my God, I CRIED out to You,
And, You HEALED me"...Psalms 30:2
Until Next Time...
Monday, July 9, 2012
You "ALWAYS" Were A BLACK QUEEN...
Just the other day...
While driving down Lake Shore Drive...
I heard Tupac Shakur's, "Dear Mama".
I lost my Mother in September of 2007...
She succumbed to Cancer on the 25th.
"A day I'll ALWAYS remember"...
"Because that was the day"...
(LOVE those Temptations!)
My youngest Sister, Nannette and I,
Spent the last 15 months of her LIFE...
Caring for her...Loving Her!
During that time,
My Mom, and I would DISCUSS...
EVERYTHING!
I wanted to hear MORE about her Childhood,
MORE about her LIFE...
I just wanted MORE!
I KNEW that those conversations...
Would have to last a LIFETIME!
The USUAL lines...
Between MOTHER and DAUGHTER...
Began to "blur".
Our relationship "transitioned",
To WISDOM... (That would be Her!)
Continuing to "impart" WISDOM...
To her FIRSTBORN....(That would be Me!)
But,
When I think about it...
That's how it ALWAYS was!
(I guess NOW I Really learned To LISTEN!)
She ALWAYS had SO MUCH...
To GIVE...
To TEACH!
And, I STILL had SO MUCH to LEARN!
As I watched her ENDURE...
Chemotherapy...Radiation...
Multiple Hospitalizations...
Her SUFFERING...
Near The End...
(Just BROKE my HEART in TWO!)
I wouldn't KNOW...
Until 3 years LATER,
When I was DIAGNOSED...
With Breast Cancer.
That God had "allowed" me...To WITNESS...
Her GRACE...Her HUMILITY...Her MAJESTY...
As she "struggled"...
Just...To...Breathe!
(He was PREPARING Me!)
As her LIFE ...
Was "slipping" away...
She joined us at her bedside...
While we sang,"I'm on the Battlefield for MY LORD"...
WHO...Among Us?
Could STILL Praise God...
While "fighting" for EACH BREATH!
My Mother In DEATH...
LED me to LIFE...
During My Breast Cancer Journey.
(I TOLD you! She STILL had SO MUCH to GIVE!)
"Just the THOUGHT of YOU"...
(Natalie Cole "sings" it Best!")
Brings Smiles...Laughter, and YES...Tears!
"And...I FORGET to Do"...
My Memories of Her...
That "Phenomenal Woman"
(The Original!)
I was BLESSED...
To Call...Mom.
Has a Place in My Heart...
Only She CAN occupy!
Why Do I Write This Blog?
Because she ALWAYS believed I could!
Why Do I Love My Daughter...My Family?
Because she CONSISTENTLY demonstrated...
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
How Did I SURVIVE Breast Cancer?
I JUST Followed... HER Example...
"I'm On The Battlefield For My Lord"....
Until Next Time...
"I'll ALWAYS...LOVE YOU, MA"...
Robbie Watson Banks Cannady...
While driving down Lake Shore Drive...
I heard Tupac Shakur's, "Dear Mama".
I lost my Mother in September of 2007...
She succumbed to Cancer on the 25th.
"A day I'll ALWAYS remember"...
"Because that was the day"...
(LOVE those Temptations!)
My youngest Sister, Nannette and I,
Spent the last 15 months of her LIFE...
Caring for her...Loving Her!
During that time,
My Mom, and I would DISCUSS...
EVERYTHING!
I wanted to hear MORE about her Childhood,
MORE about her LIFE...
I just wanted MORE!
I KNEW that those conversations...
Would have to last a LIFETIME!
The USUAL lines...
Between MOTHER and DAUGHTER...
Began to "blur".
Our relationship "transitioned",
To WISDOM... (That would be Her!)
Continuing to "impart" WISDOM...
To her FIRSTBORN....(That would be Me!)
But,
When I think about it...
That's how it ALWAYS was!
(I guess NOW I Really learned To LISTEN!)
She ALWAYS had SO MUCH...
To GIVE...
To TEACH!
And, I STILL had SO MUCH to LEARN!
As I watched her ENDURE...
Chemotherapy...Radiation...
Multiple Hospitalizations...
Her SUFFERING...
Near The End...
(Just BROKE my HEART in TWO!)
I wouldn't KNOW...
Until 3 years LATER,
When I was DIAGNOSED...
With Breast Cancer.
That God had "allowed" me...To WITNESS...
Her GRACE...Her HUMILITY...Her MAJESTY...
As she "struggled"...
Just...To...Breathe!
(He was PREPARING Me!)
As her LIFE ...
Was "slipping" away...
She joined us at her bedside...
While we sang,"I'm on the Battlefield for MY LORD"...
WHO...Among Us?
Could STILL Praise God...
While "fighting" for EACH BREATH!
My Mother In DEATH...
LED me to LIFE...
During My Breast Cancer Journey.
(I TOLD you! She STILL had SO MUCH to GIVE!)
"Just the THOUGHT of YOU"...
(Natalie Cole "sings" it Best!")
Brings Smiles...Laughter, and YES...Tears!
"And...I FORGET to Do"...
My Memories of Her...
That "Phenomenal Woman"
(The Original!)
I was BLESSED...
To Call...Mom.
Has a Place in My Heart...
Only She CAN occupy!
Why Do I Write This Blog?
Because she ALWAYS believed I could!
Why Do I Love My Daughter...My Family?
Because she CONSISTENTLY demonstrated...
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
How Did I SURVIVE Breast Cancer?
I JUST Followed... HER Example...
"I'm On The Battlefield For My Lord"....
Until Next Time...
"I'll ALWAYS...LOVE YOU, MA"...
Robbie Watson Banks Cannady...
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Okay..."JOY" We're WAITING...
I'm going to "BREAK" a few rules!
I'm a Breast Cancer Survivor...
Many Don't!
I've been GIVEN an "AWESOME" Gift!
Yes...I HAVE!
I "CONTINUE" to be "AMAZED"...
By God's TENDER "Mercies"...
On My Behalf...
BUT...
I'm STILL Tired!!!
(Sssshhh! I "shouldn't" say that TOO LOUD!)
Here's My List:
1) "CHEMO" Fatigue...It's been almost 2 years, already!
2) My Body..."BETRAYS" Me...Every CHANCE IT GET'S!
("The old grey horse just ain't what she "used" to be!")
3) "Financially" Compromised...You can "read" between the lines!
Here's MY Favorite:
4) And, just..."Sick &Tired"...Of Being Sick &Tired!
(I think that's a GOOD Start!)
I KNOW...
ALL that He's DONE for me...
But, Lord...
"It's a little OVERWHELMING here"...
(At LEAST from MY vantage point!)
Can you...HELP...A "Sistah" out?
I BELIEVE in the PROMISES of our God!
I KNOW...
One of the "FRUITS"...Of The Spirit...
Is Patience...LONG SUFFERING...Gal:5:22
BUT, FATHER...
HOW LONG?
I feel GUILTY...Even asking...
But, you KNOW My Heart...
You Know...
It's been on the "tip"...Of My Tongue...
For some TIME now!
And, What do you say about...HYPOCRITES?
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharises, hypocrites!"
Matthew 23:29
(And, you KNOW how that story ENDED!)
I BELIEVE MY GOD...
Can handle ANYTHING!
Even me ASKING...
Him to "SPEED UP" A Blessing...Or Two...Or Three...
MY WAY!
But...Seriously...
I've recently had someone I CARE about...
Who had to hear that "DREADED" Word...
Cancer...
(It's her Father...)
Her GRIEF...Was Palpable!
I Thought to Myself..."Dear God"...
(She's ALSO a Breast Cancer Survivor!)
What can you SAY?
The FIRST Scripture that came to MIND...
"Weeping may endure for a night, But JOY comes in the morning"...
Psalms 30:5
Then, I Thought...
"Okay, "JOY"...We're WAITING"!
Until Next Time...
I'm a Breast Cancer Survivor...
Many Don't!
I've been GIVEN an "AWESOME" Gift!
Yes...I HAVE!
I "CONTINUE" to be "AMAZED"...
By God's TENDER "Mercies"...
On My Behalf...
BUT...
I'm STILL Tired!!!
(Sssshhh! I "shouldn't" say that TOO LOUD!)
Here's My List:
1) "CHEMO" Fatigue...It's been almost 2 years, already!
2) My Body..."BETRAYS" Me...Every CHANCE IT GET'S!
("The old grey horse just ain't what she "used" to be!")
3) "Financially" Compromised...You can "read" between the lines!
Here's MY Favorite:
4) And, just..."Sick &Tired"...Of Being Sick &Tired!
(I think that's a GOOD Start!)
I KNOW...
ALL that He's DONE for me...
But, Lord...
"It's a little OVERWHELMING here"...
(At LEAST from MY vantage point!)
Can you...HELP...A "Sistah" out?
I BELIEVE in the PROMISES of our God!
I KNOW...
One of the "FRUITS"...Of The Spirit...
Is Patience...LONG SUFFERING...Gal:5:22
BUT, FATHER...
HOW LONG?
I feel GUILTY...Even asking...
But, you KNOW My Heart...
You Know...
It's been on the "tip"...Of My Tongue...
For some TIME now!
And, What do you say about...HYPOCRITES?
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharises, hypocrites!"
Matthew 23:29
(And, you KNOW how that story ENDED!)
I BELIEVE MY GOD...
Can handle ANYTHING!
Even me ASKING...
Him to "SPEED UP" A Blessing...Or Two...Or Three...
MY WAY!
But...Seriously...
I've recently had someone I CARE about...
Who had to hear that "DREADED" Word...
Cancer...
(It's her Father...)
Her GRIEF...Was Palpable!
I Thought to Myself..."Dear God"...
(She's ALSO a Breast Cancer Survivor!)
What can you SAY?
The FIRST Scripture that came to MIND...
"Weeping may endure for a night, But JOY comes in the morning"...
Psalms 30:5
Then, I Thought...
"Okay, "JOY"...We're WAITING"!
Until Next Time...
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