A Gift...

Our lives are FILLED with so MANY moments.
Moments of EXTREME Happiness...
And, of GREAT Sorrow.

Life IS a balancing act!

As we get older...
You REALIZE how "precious" these...
Moments are.

You CHERISH the "good" ones...
And, PRAY your way through the others.

Battling Breast Cancer...
Helped me to realize...

Just how PRECIOUS these moments are.

Spending time with my daughter...
Doing nothing in particular,
Time spent with the people I love...
Family...Friends...

Brings that old commercial to mind,

"Life's SIMPLE pleasures are the BEST"...
(Remember, that one?)
"Are the best...In all the world".
(I don't remember the product!)
Old Age is setting in!

I feel so BLESSED...

My Life was "delayed" during treatment...
But, not "taken"!

So Now...

I TRULY LIVE...Like there's NO tomorrow!

I ...Taste...Smell...See...Experience...Enjoy...

ALL that is around me!

The World...

Looks SO shiny...And, NEW!

I LAUGH...Longer...
I LOVE...Harder!

My Life is "SO FULL"!

Because of this disease...I REALIZE...

TIME...Is a LUXURY...

A luxury...Not to be taken...For Granted!

LIFE...Is a GIFT...

(To Personalize it...My Life is one!)

And, I "unwrap" it...Gingerly...

Each...And, Everyday...

Until Next Time...

Memorial Day

Barbecue...
One of my "favorite" words,
In the English language.
It evokes such wonderful childhood memories.

That smoke...
Brings a smile to my face...
Everytime!

My Mom would barbecue,
For all the summer holidys.
Memorial Day...Fourth of July...Labor Day...
And, the "ever" popular...
It's "too hot" to turn on the oven day!

We were Blessed...
As I get older...
I realize how fortunate we were.
There was ALWAYS food on the table.
And, on the holidays...
A Bonanza!

So, it's no small wonder,
Since becoming an adult,
A Grill...Weber Kettle, to be exact,
Is my "favorite" summer accessory!
(Well, it's a "close" second to my platform wedges!)

Cooking...
Was one of the MANY ways my Mom,
Expressed her love for us.
She made EVERY holiday,
A "Big" Event.

I've since carried that particular tradition,
Into myAdulthood.
Which means...On ANY given day,
Holiday or not,
Food (Especially barbecue!)
Is one of the ways I express...
My Love...My Devotion...
To My Family.

Let's See...
Food seasoned-Check!
(Every good cook "prepares" the night before!)
The Patio swept...Grill cleaned...
Check!

And, in a few short hours...

You'll find me standing...
In front of my grill...
"Tools"...In hand.

Smoke rising...

Making my "momma" proud!

Because...

NOTHING...Says "loving" like...

RIBS...CHICKEN...SAUSAGE...STEAK...
BAKED BEANS...CORN...POTATOS...
AND, DEVILED EGGS...

Yummmmm...

In Loving Memory...

To the "Original" Grill Master...My Mom!

Until Next Time...

Keep Your Fingers Crossed...

Tuesdays...
So, I paid a visit to my Plastic Surgeon.
When he walked into the Office...
The way he "looked" at me...
I just KNEW...
It's Time!

When I began the Reconstruction Process,
I was told...(Over,and Over, and...!)
That how my "new" skin "responded"
Would determine...
My Size...(Cup size, ladies!)
Go BIG...Or stay home, right?

Radiation...Does a "number" on the skin!
(They need to INCLUDE that in the Cancer brochures!)

But, me being the eternal optimist...
I can't even type that with a straight face!
Just this ONE time,
I WOULD have a "say" in the process...
Not my BODY!

Well...Do I even need to say it?

My skin has "expanded"..."stretched"...
As MUCH as it can...
(On the left, where they placed the "new" skin)
Due to my Radiation.

They CAN'T "fill" me with another drop of fluid...

So,
It's Time...

For the LAST Big Step...SURGERY!!!

One WOULD conclude by now...
I would be "used" to it.
(Well, ONE would be WRONG!)

Yet...AGAIN...
I'll be placed on a stretcher...
Rolled into a "cold" sterile room.
With BIG lights...
Could this possibly be my opportunity?
For Stardom?
Well, maybe...
If not for the SHARP, SHINY, Knives...
And, people wearing MASKS!

That will have my LIFE...In their hands!

Pity Party?

No, the invitations were LOST in the mail!

But, I'd like you to understand...

With ALL this...Breast Cancer...Chemo...Radiation

Reconstruction...

You are NOT a willing participant!

What I'm saying is...EVERYTHING...

YES, EVERYTHING!

Is for the most part...Out of your CONTROL...

I Mean...You just go ALONG...

Because you just want it ALL to be OVER!

Think about it...Indulge me, for just a moment.

We are raised ALL our lives..."Be Independent"...

"Don't let SOMEONE else...Tell you what to do!"

Right?

Then you get diagnosed...With Breast Cancer...

And, NOW...

In order to LIVE...

You do just the opposite...

Do you see my POINT...

Frustrating, just a little, huh?

So, these last 3 years...Inner turmoil...

That's BARELY touching the surface!

But...With ALL that in mind...

"Keep your fingers crossed for me"...

I'll be HOLDING my Breath!

Because in just SIX short weeks...

I'll be WHOLE...

Again...

Until Next Time...

Build Something!

It's "Amazing" how God works.
Today's Blog Post WAS going to be about...
Setbacks...Self Pity...Here I come!

I've been in bed SICK...All week.
I've been battling a "horrible" cold, flu...
You name it!

Too weak...To do anything!
Being incapacitated for SO LONG...
Helped to "foster"...Or shall I say...
"Encourage"...feelings of self pity,
"Poor" Me!

"Oh, I haven't worked ALL week"
"My Bills________"
You can fill in the blank!

But, I had an epiphany...

I was watching the News...
And, I heard someone say,
Someone who has LIVED with,
Parkinson's Disease for OVER 20 Years.
"When Life gives you HAMMERS to carry"
"You BUILD something!"

Now that's HEAVY...(No pun intended!)
Alot to consider when you think about it.

Here I am...
Feeling SORRY for myself...
When someone who "jerks" uncontrollably...
(It's called Tardive Dyskinesia)
Can say...BUILD...FORTIFY...REINFORCE!

Talk about...Looking on the Bright Side!

So...Who the HELL am I to complain?

YES...I HAD Breast Cancer.
YES...My Life is different.
YES...There are some things I've had to "adjust" to.

But...Who doesn't?
George Benson said it best...
When he sang,"Everything MUST change!"

So, lamenting...
Over what "used" to be...
That is the PAST.
And, it's just... Pointless!

In order to move FORWARD...

I'm Choosing...

TO BUILD SOMETHING!

"Hammer"...In my hand...

I'll START with...

"Building"...My Faith...

It's EASY to "say" the word...
But, "living" it...
Takes SOME doing...
Especially when Life...
Takes an UNEXPECTED turn!
Just ask...Job!

Next...

I'll "BUILD"...My Temple.

"FORTIFY" it...With Exercise...
Only "allowing" the Foods...
That WILL strengthen it, in.
(No more late night Harold's Chicken runs...)
Help me Jesus!

Then...

I'll "FORTIFY"...My "Stance"

By putting on..."The Whole Armor of God",
In addition..."The Breastplate of Righteousness"
And,...Gird my Waist...With Truth.
The Shield of Faith...And the Helmet of Salvation...
NOW I'm Ready...CHARGE!

Last...But, not least...

When the "enemy" attacks...
I'll have the Sword of the Spirit...
Which IS the WORD of God...
"BUILT"...In my Foundation...
From Birth...

To DEFEAT him.

Lord...

You've GIVEN me the Tools...

Continue...

To TEACH your Servant...

How to "BUILD!"

BRICK...By...BRICK!

Until Next Time...

Mother's Day

This Mother's Day...
Is SO Special!
It is my THIRD Mother's Day...
Count Them...Three!
Since...My Breast Cancer diagnosis.

I'm "CELEBRATING"...
I'm "DANCING"...
(Or what I call,"my" idea of  dancing!)
I'm Singing...Kool and The Gang's...
"CELEBRATE...Good Times...Come On!"

God...Has been SO good to me!

There was a time...
Seems a "lifetime" ago...
I didn't KNOW...
If I'd LIVE to see another one...
And, HERE I AM..."Blessed"...
With 3...And, counting!

My Daughter, and I...
Shopped...Vintage Stores this week.
I found a Handbag...Earrings...
Just like my Grandmother's...
She was "always" VERY Fashionable...
That is just ONE of the things...
I STILL Remember...
About Her...

The Woman...Who...
Taught my Mom...
So, she could "teach" me...
About...Life.

But, Mother's Day...
Isn't about the gifts...
(Well, MAYBE just a little...wink, wink!)

The time I spend with my Daughter...
Means SO MUCH more!

We're going to,"A Taco Joint"...
In Lincoln Park,
Tomorrow...
For MY FAVORITE...
Blood Orange Margarita's...And, Tacos!
Ay Carumba!

Just to be HERE...
Another YEAR...
To be ABLE...
To spend this TIME together...
Well, there are NO words...
For that feeling!

I Think Back...

I'm Reminded...

Of a Mother's Day...
With My Mom...

We drove Downtown...
My Mom wanted,
An "outfit"...For Church.
She just LOVED suits by Kasper!
We spent the WHOLE day together...
Laughing...Talking...Shopping...
At Marshall Field's.
Just the two of us...
It's ONE of my FONDEST Memories...

My Daughter "honors" me...
As, I did...My Mom...
Every Mother's Day.

The Tradition Continues...

Of  "Honoring"...
The "One"...
Who gave you...
LIFE.

Who taught you...

"Hold your head up High"...
"Stand Up Straight"...
Taught me to..."tie" my shoes...
(A "feat" it took me...A while to "master!")
But, she DIDN'T give up!
Who "kissed" all my boo-boo's away...
Who LOVED Me...
Like NO ONE else...

Who taught me...To Be...
The Woman I Am...

So, I could TEACH my Daughter...

"I'll ALWAYS LOVE My Momma'...
'Cause she's my FAVORITE Girl!"...

In Loving Memory...
For My FAVORITE Girl...
Ms. Robbie Banks...

Until Next Time...

Friendship...

Webster's Dictionary defines it as:
One attached to another, by respect or affection.
Or...
One who SUPPORTS, or favors something.

Those were my favorite two...

There were always people in my life...
That I called my FRIENDS.
That I could "laugh" and "share" with...

You Know...

Things friends are supposed to do, with
each other.

Since being diagnosed...

I've met some new "friends"...

But, I feel like they're...So much MORE!

I like to think of them as...

My "PINK SISTAHS"!

As a Group...We are MANY!

We do the "things" FRIENDS do.

We "SHARE"...The "ups", and "downs"...

Of our Breast Cancer Journey...

We "SUPPORT" each other...

Whether it's a WORD..."Hold On Girl"...

A PRAYER..."Dear God, Please HELP my "Sistah"...

Or something "more" tangible.

I FEEL so SAFE...With Them...

INSULATED...

Because we've ALL been through...A Journey...

For Many of Us...A type of HELL...

That has BONDED Us...

For a LIFETIME!

Each of Us...Are at a different PHASE...

In Our Journey.

Some have completed...ALL their Treatment.

Some are going through Reconstruction...

And, there's ALWAYS a new "Pink Sistah"...
Among Us...Who has only just BEGUN...
Her Journey.

I have NEVER felt as STRONG...

Or as SAFE...

As I do with these Women.

It's True...

There's a DEEPER level of UNDERSTANDING...

A kind of...Intimacy.

With people who have a "shared" experience.

So, on this morning,
As the Lord opened my eyes...
My FIRST thought...
Was of my "Sistahs".

I am HUMBLED...
By their LOVE and SUPPORT...
I am GRATEFUL...
To be "counted" among them.

My Breast Cancer Journey,
Has been made "easier"...
My burdens "lighter"...

Because...I can call anyone of them...

"Hey, Girl...I'm having ONE of THOSE days"...

And, they UNDERSTAND...

Until Next Time...

Sunday Morning Worship

I've always been VERY emotional.

I Cry...

At Movies,
When I'm with my Family,
Admiring the Beauty of...Creation.
When I'm overwhelmed...

By God's Love.

At Church,
I'm no different.
Worship Service has ALWAYS been,
An emotional experience, for me.

I have to admit...
Since Breast Cancer...
It's more intense!

Sitting in Worship Service today,
The Choir, sang "Why I Love Jesus".
With each verse...
My eyes couldn't STOP tearing.

Just thinking about ALL God has done,
Renders me...Speechless!

In the SAME set of circumstances...

NO Insurance,
NO "Real" Idea...
What a Breast Cancer Diagnosis
involves...
NO Where to turn...

Many Women Die!

I Wonder...

Why did I Live?

I was taught...God will use you!
Use your trials,
And, your triumphs.
For the GOOD of His People.

That's why I OPENLY discuss,
My Journey...
I'm a Testament...
To what God can DO...

He Made A Way...

Pastor discussed...Faith,
The size of a Mustard Seed.

FAITH...
Is "all" I had...
When diagnosed.

FAITH...
Is "all" I needed.
To get from There...To Here.

So, as they sang...

"Why I Love Jesus"...

I Thought...

There are so many reasons...

He "chose" to look BEYOND my faults,
To see MY needs.

Because of Him...I'm HEALED.

Just Believe...

Until Next Time...

Still...The One...

Breast Cancer...

Tell someone...
And, their eyes go IMMEDIATELY...
To my breasts!

Are they...Aren't they?

ONLY I know for sure!

Many people "want" to ask...

"Did you LOSE your breasts?"

I'm very HONEST when they gather the "nerve"...

Yes...I "lost" my left breast to Cancer.

And, I "voluntarily" gave up the right.

With the women I tell...

There's this LOOK..."Oh, God!"
(Thankful, it's NOT them!)

I understand...I'm NOT offended!
Anymore...

We've been taught to believe...

BREASTS...Are a BIG part...Of what,

Makes us FEEL like a...Woman!
(Cue...Aretha Franklin's,"Natural Woman"...)

We KNOW...

A nice "pair" of breasts...In the "right" top...

Can STOP...A man...DEAD...In his tracks!

Men...Proudly Proclaim...

"I'm a BREAST man"...

So,  You can imagine...

A diagnosis of Breast Cancer...

Can "shake" the very "Foundation"...

Of what we were TAUGHT...To believe...

Makes us the "fairer" sex!

Going through MY journey,

I UNDERSTAND...

But, DON'T agree...
With women who...
Choose...
Not to seek Treatment.

Think about it..."You want to take my WHAT?"

"I'm going to LOSE"...

My Hair...That I "pampered" weekly.

My Eyelashes...That I "lavished" with mascara.

My Eyebrows...And, to TOP it all OFF...

"MY BREASTS...TOO?"

EVERYTHING...That I thought...Personified...

WOMANHOOD...Gone?

I looked at my Doctor...
Remember Ricky Ricardo...
"Lucy, (Doctor)...You got some explaining to do!"

I'm sure you're wondering...

Afterwards...

What remained?

I DID!

I was STILL the ONE...

Who gave BIRTH...To my child...

A MASTER griller...My lambchops...Are Legendary...

A WOMAN... who could "rock" a pair of...6 inch heels!

A WOMAN...who could love, nurture, listen, and advise.

A WOMAN...who could PRAY..."Dear Lord"...

NONE of this...
Did Cancer DESTROY!

So...

If you're...Wondering...

Do I STILL feel like a Woman?

YES!

And, by the way...

With a NEW, and IMPROVED...

Pair of Breasts...

That in the "right" top...

Can..."STILL" stop...A man...

DEAD...In his Tracks...

(Thank, God...For Plastic Surgeons!)

Until Next Time...