My Therapy...

First, let's start with Introductions. My name is Tonya Hackney/Breast Cancer Diva. And, no "Diva" doesn't mean what you think it does! When I was lying in bed during Chemotherapy "too sick" to do anything but "be sick"- I watched alot of Daytime TV. There were always numerous organizations that "touted" the word "survivor" in terms of what you became once you "won" your battle with cancer. Now for some reason the word survivor didn't resonate with me. So, I looked up the definition in Webster's Dictionary, and it says...To remain alive or existence. Now, Ladies...I don't know about you but, I didn't want to just "live" through this-I wanted to be "triumphant"! So, in between bouts of puking, diarrhea, and the like, I came up with an acronym for the word Diva. And, it goes like this...D=Destroyed, I=Intentionally, and V=Victoriously, by the A=Almighty. Now that's a word that I thought would scare the sh-- out of cancer! Now, to be fair, I still use the word survivor, because that's what most people can relate to. But, for me, just to "survive" from this is not an Option! I have to digress for a moment... For those of you who saw the word "Almighty" in my explanation of what the word "Diva" means to me...Do not despair! I don't want anyone out there to panic! I believe in the Almighty-simple as that. But, you can call Him Buddha, Jehovah, Allah, Brahma, or whatever name you have for Him. Or you may not have ANY name for Him at all. I just hope that during your journey (And, it IS a journey of a Lifetime!) that you have something or someone to calm the waters for you. My something is Jesus-But to each his own. This journey/ our journey is life altering, and for me, life affirming, so I just want you all to have an anchor. Because as you all know the waters get treacherous at times... Okay- Stats! I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (officially) in November of 2009. I found the lump in October 2009. Now me being the eternal Optimist (Please!) I called both my sisters, and told them I found a lump, not to worry-I would see the Doctor on Monday.(It was a Saturday Night). Well, needless to say, it was Breast Cancer, Stage 2-3 (The Doctor and Radiologist couldn't quite agree on this!) HER 2 Positive. My Doctor, and Breast Surgeon when informing me of my diagnosis said..."Don't worry, it's treatable". But, the end all to be all was when she said..."You have the type of Breast Cancer that most young women get". Well, being 49 when I got diagnosed-I took some small pleasure(crazy,huh?) in the fact that at least I had the type that young women get, and for a women about to turn 50, at least something about me, had "retained" it's youth...I know, even with Breast Cancer, the Eternal fight for youth still rages... So, to ALL my 'Sisters in Pink"...I started this Blog for you/us because : 1) I can't make my Monthly Support Group since I've returned to work(I needed almost a year off!), 2) I appreciate that we have a month (October) that we are recognized-But, come on, for us Breast Cancer is YEAR round, 3) Tired of explaining to friends, and family alike that although the WORST of your treatment is over (Chemo/Radiation)-Your hair is back, and you look "Marvelous"! But, inside there's still that inner "upheaval", 4) Can't find a Support Group that "fits", and finally, 5) THAT A MONTHLY SUPPORT GROUP IS GREAT-But, I can't hold all this in for a month. I need (Can I be honest with you?) weekly, daily, (come on now...),minute by minute (at times!), counting the seconds....RELEASE! So, for ALL of my Sisters in Pink, like me, this Blog is for you/us. It's a safe place, where you can express WHATEVER you are feeling without the fear of your loved ones, having you committed (That is of course, unless they read your post!) Haha! So, I am looking forward to hearing from you. There are so many "sisters" that I talk to, in various stages of treatment, and along their journey that I've met, who feel the same. You/we are not alone....So, tell me all about it....