Superwoman...

...I am Superwoman, Yes I am, Yes she is...I woke up today with that song in my head. Alicia Keys, right? Never mind who sings it...The words are in my head now! With this Breast Cancer business, I'm so emotional! Somedays I'm up, sometimes down. Today? I'll let you guess! But, I'll give you a clue..Don't you know that.. I... am... Superwoman! Yesterday was Tuesday, so like every Tuesday I was at my Plastic Surgeon's Office. My youngest sister, Nannette, came with me, so we're in the Exam Room, I have on one of those paper gowns (Fashionista, right?) and, I'm "holding" it closed. I guess I was "hiding" my breasts (or what would become breasts!) from my sister. When we left the office, she mentioned that I was "holding" that gown shut, like my life depended on it! I thought about it...

I've OVERCOME Breast Cancer! During Chemo I had only "3" good days a month, for the seven months I received my treatment. When I say, "Good days", I mean just that...Good days! During Chemo you lower the bar somewhat, so if I was able to get out of bed, without first notifying my body for the next, say... 10-15 minutes that's what I wanted to do. If I didn't, feel like my head was going to "explode" from impact, from the "migraines" the Zofran was giving me, and my personal favorite...If I could actually walk without assistance to the bathroom, which was a "mere" few feet from my bed...Then that-Ladies and Gentlemen... was a "Good Day"! I would receive my Chemo on a Thursday. It took mine between 4 to 6 hours to administer. I would feel "okay" afterwards. On Friday, my other sister Stephanie, would usually take me out for some "fresh" air. (My bedroom became the ONLY room I stayed in. It became my base of operations!) And, on that day, Friday, I would still feel ,"ok". But by that Saturday-Forget about it! I was on my as- from that Saturday, until the Monday before I would receive my next treatment. I received one round of Chemo every three weeks (If my levels allowed it, and believe me they didn't!) so...You play this "waiting" game. The Oncologist won't let the Nurse administer the Chemo you need until your levels were  high enough again to withstand the Chemo, that would DROP my levels AGAIN to an unsafe level, and so on, and so on.... So, the other TWENTY SEVEN days of the month-Let's just say...It's great I had SO much support...Because I REALLY needed it! But, I've OVERCOME that adversity. I've WON that round with Chemo. I've made it through! I told you...I am Superwoman, yes I am...Yes, she is! For those of you keeping score-Tonya 1 vs. Cancer 0!

When you have Breast Cancer, you're "always" trying to protect (Or maybe that was just me...) the people you love. My daughter was that person. I made "grand" attempts to shield her from it. How does that saying go..."The best laid plans of mice, and men?...Well, anyway! She was in Culinary School at the time, I remember the day, Nannette and I drove to school to pick her up once I had my results. I was "okay" by that time. My sisters had already taken me to Harold's Chicken Shack (My one weakness-fried chicken!), allowed me to "cry" in it, for the  remainder of the time that we/ no they ate theirs. So, like I said..By the time I had to tell my daughter, I was "A okay"! wink..wink...I looked in her eyes, and told her...But, I could tell she "knew" what I was going to say. Then I said..."It's going to be okay, we can get through this"! Oh, and by the way...You're NOT quitting School! (She was already halfway through!) I reminded her, that between my Dad, her Aunts, I would have MORE then enough help while she was in class. With this Breast Cancer Business, for me, the HARDEST part of it-I'll let you take a stab at it! CHEMO? RADIATION? Lost of my independence ? Close...But, no! It was "pasting" on a smile, Holding back my tears, JUST long enough...For my daughter to leave for school! It's ALWAYS been just the two of us....(Single mothers, hear me roar!)...Just the "two" of us...Remember that Bill Withers song?...We can make it if we try, Just the two of us...(Here comes the chorus-Just the two of us)...You and I..Okay! Back to the business at hand! So, I know she was "horrified" with this diagnosis. I had ALWAYS been, who she could come to, with WHATEVER. She even wrote an essay in Freshmen English in High School..."My Mother, My Hero"( You know I STILL have it!)...I told you! Superwoman! Now with that in mind-I had to put up a good front (sometimes I won, well sometimes, you know!) before she left for school. I didn't want her to be distracted. (I was REALLY miles away from the Reality thing, huh?) But, when she left...OPEN THE FLOODGATES!!! My tears could have given a tsunami a run for it....When I was sick enough, and I knew I needed to haul as- to the Emergency Room, if she was in school, this is what I'd do. I would send her a text, "Don't worry, I'm on my way to the ER...Your aunts are with me." She said she would see that text...And wonder how I could expect her NOT to worry. Oh, now here's the "clincher". I would end the text with, "You can come AFTER class." And, she would. I can laugh about it today...Remember this IS a process (There's that word again!) And, also because I've made it to the "other" side of Breast Cancer. At least that's how I feel today...Well, with ALL that in mind...The next time my sister accompanies me to the Plastic Surgeon...I'm going to FLASH my "boobies"! I have NOTHING to feel self-conscious about! I've been through HELL and BACK...!And, LIVED to tell the story...Don't you know that... I ...AM ...SUPERWOMAN!!! YES, I AM...YES, SHE IS! Until next time...