When I speak to other Breast Cancer Survivors, there's this "universal" understanding when we ask each other..." How do you feel?" We take a deep breath, and sigh....I believe because in THAT instance we realize how far we've come in our journey. That what's ahead...Is more promising than what we just left BEHIND. That the "worst" is over...Smokie Norful said it best in his song, "Dear God"..." There were days I wanted to quit...I said "surely" this is it...But, I held on....Give that song a listen from his lastest CD, entitled, "Smokie Norful Live"...It's enriched my life in so MANY ways, on so MANY levels...So, we Breast Cancer survivors frame the answer to that question very carefully...We usually begin with..."Oh, well...I don't want to complain"...If you're speaking to another survivor when you answer that question...That "statement" alone speaks volumes....
There ARE some adjustments I've had to make. But, such is life...I'm no longer able to "multi-task" like I used to. My "energy" is such a PRICELESS commodity now, that I give LOTS of thought to how I will use it each day. There are 45 steps up to where I live. (Yes, I've counted them!) My steps have caused "mere" mortals to break out in tears from the climb to my door. I tried to "always" have a pitcher of their favorite libation waiting for them...to "undo" the damage that, that very climb had caused to their "psyche". During Chemo, there was a chair "generously" placed on each floor of my building. My body appreciated it! So, many times it would say to me, "I don't know what you are trying to do to us, between the "stuff" you're allowing them to put in, and these stairs"...So, BELIEVE me those chairs, my "rest stops" were a Godsend! Now with ALL that behind me...I still "tire" easily...At least it's not as much as before...That's not a complaint...Just an acknowledgement...That... I have a "new" normal I've had to adjust to. As Breast Cancer survivors, I think we feel a "heightened" sense of what's REALLY noteworthy enough to place in the "Complaint Box." You just learn to put things in perspective. Before, as usual, with us "girls" a "chipped" nail, a hair "out" of place...Would have been enough for me to feel as if the "gods" were against me!...Ha, ha!...Let's be HONEST now! Now...UNLESS I have to call 911...ANYTHING short of that, isn't worth complaining about! I always use to upon waking...."Thank the Lord" for THIS day...I still do...But, the emotion behind it now...Well, let's just say...For what He's done...For what He's brought me through, "Thank You" seems SO terribly insufficient! It barely scrapes the surface of my gratitude...My friends and family have "adapted" to my "new" normal...They walk at a slower pace when they're with me. And, stay close by. They volunteer to carry "heavy" bags for me, and get down right angry (especially my daughter!) when I say...It's okay, I've got it!" Getting up, after sitting is challenging to say the least. I take an "estrogen suppressant" Anastrozole, which "locks" my joints, as tight as a bank vault! Not a complaint...Just a fact! I "FREAKED" out when my Oncologist informed me, I had to take an estrogen suppressant. I thought, "Oh Boy-Now I'm going to have "facial" hair? No, I since learned-it doesn't "take away" what's already there, it just "stops" the production of additional estrogen-which can lead to a return "engagement" of the disease.So, NO facial hair-Whew! A "heads up" to those of you who have a friend or family member with Breast Cancer...Yes, her hair is back...And, the light in her eyes she lost during Chemo-Yes, it has returned! But, PLEASE take into account "looks" in this instance, are QUITE deceiving! Understand, and adapt yourself to her limitations. We "don't" complain...It would just seem ungrateful! But, understand...She has a "new" normal-so, give her a "pass" sometimes for me-will you?...Until next time...
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