Fear...Of The Unknown...

I have to come clean...
Just admit it!
I haven't been feeling "well"
Lately...

I don't know...

Night Shift work?
Not getting enough rest?

Who Knows?...

I FINALLY decided to go see,
My Doctor today.

My Sisters "fuss" at me...
Because I did WAIT to see if I'd...
Feel better...First!

What my Sisters don't understand...

Doctor's Visits...
Especially "unscheduled" ones..

Scare the H-E, Double L...Out of me!

Just walking through those doors...
"Conjure" up...Memories...

Breast Cancer...
Illness...
FEAR!


ALL those Emotions,
OPEN the Floodgates!

To feelings...I thought, were LONG gone!
But, I guess they never REALLY leave...
They just lie DORMANT...

WAITING...

For the opportunity to resurface!

You would think,
With MY history...

I'd RUN to see my Doctor!

But...

There's this...FEAR...

What IF something is REALLY wrong...Again?

And, as brave as I was through Treatment...
(Or at least that's what my Family thought!)

I ALWAYS felt like a "scared" child...
Wanting my "Mommy"...
I just longed to hear her voice...
Telling me it's ALL going to be just fine!

Sitting here,
In the Waiting Area...

I'm Anxious...
And, I feel like crying!
Go ahead...Say it!
Yes, just like a "girl"...
I cry...When I'm scared!

I'm...Praying...
EVERYTHING will be alright!

That's not TOO much to ask...Now is it?

It's so ironic...
I was ALWAYS healthy!

But...
Once you've heard those words...

"YOU have Breast Cancer"...

A Doctor's Appointment...
Takes on a whole NEW meaning!

I'm in the Exam Room...
In walks my Doctor...

I KNOW...
EVERYTHING...Will be just fine!

You know why?

The words of a song come to mind...

"I don't believe He brought me this far...

To leave Me!"...

I can EXHALE...

Until Next Time...